No, I won't respect my elders

Respect your elders. Part phrase part life advice, this idiom is as much commonplace as "look both ways" but not nearly as beneficial to your health. It's a meaningless platitude that has been hammered into all of our brains so much and so often in the early stages of our lives, that we've all accepted it as doctrine, and no one has ever bothered to question it. It's simply the proper way of behaving, and it's expected of every young person in this world. Well whoever told you that, is a fucking idiot, and I'm going to eviscerate you of this bullshit.

To an extent, yeah, you should respect your elders. I don't think it's the best idea to go around spitting on seniors or kicking their canes out of their hands. But I have a good idea. How about you respect everyone? Why is respect reserved entirely for elders? Why not show some respect to young people who will come to know different, more advanced things than you? People think you have to respect your elders as a default (people love being patronized), because they've simply been around longer than you, and therefore have more information about life than you do, like they're on the verge of bursting into A Beautiful Mind at any moment. Not only that, but they have more experience than you do. First of all, just because you're older, and you've had the opportunity to sample more information than younger people, doesn't necessarily mean that you've absorbed it effectively, and it doesn't make you an expert in every field. In an ever expanding world, how relevant is out dated information exactly?

Your mind deteriorates as you get older. I seriously doubt all of that juicy information is fresh on your mind, much less organized. 100 people can look at the same thing and all see something different, so a wise thing to do is consult many sources, and learn to think for yourself, rather than consult someone old with a failing memory and assume their word as concrete truth. Experience is the one thing that elders have that no one can really dispute. They've walked the walk, and it seems to me that old people use that as a shield to deflect any negative remarks, however reasonable the criticisms may be. You know what that sounds like to me? Insecurity, proudly on display. A bullshit abstract concept dreamt up by people who lacked power their whole lives, now have wrinkles, and demand admiration.

One of the problems I have with the phrase "respect your elders", is the phrase itself. When does someone cross the threshold into being an "elder"? As near as I can figure out, you become an elder when you reach 65 years old, and are officially a senior citizen. There is no clear metric for the concept of being elderly as far as I can tell. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but being old doesn't mean shit. All it means is that you're old. You can say "respect fat people" because "they can eat more than you", and it makes about as much sense. Just because you've been around longer than someone else, that doesn't grant you any special powers or favors, and it most certainly doesn't put you above someone.

That's an absurd way of regarding yourself. Who the fuck are you, exactly? Are you levitating above the rest of us? If you're 65, does that mean people who are 64 years old are beneath you mentally? You know, Charles Manson is getting pretty old, I suppose that means I should listen to what he has to say, simply because he's old. Does this line of thought apply to people long deceased? Should I respect the people who invented Trepanning for their strides in modern medicine? I figure those people have to be pretty old by now, that means I should respect them blindly, right? I get something meaningful out of that, right? Am I really going to benefit from listening to the advice of people who, in their time, squelched womens' right to vote, owned other people, and made an effort to make sure that that way of thinking survived by teaching it to their kids?

The Brain Grinder, pre-coffee grinder

I'm also curious if this is culturally accurate and appropriate for all people and races. I'm sure there's a tribe of hunters out there on earth that ditches their elders for not having the strength to hunt, or be useful anymore. One of my chief concerns with respecting my elders, is that the phrase makes some pretty bold assumptions about the concept of respect. It's worth remembering two things. One, that respect is earned. Two, that respect is a two way street, and if you don't show it to the people you are entrusting this world to after you're gone, you have failed as a human. You do not magically deserve respect by virtue of being old. Being old does not mean that people can't question your decisions, being old absolutely does not give you permission to act like an asshole, and it most certainly doesn't excuse your ignorance. If you're wrong about something, you're fucking wrong. Your age is completely irrelevant in that circumstance, it's not a Get Out Of Jail Free card.

Like I said before, instead of simply respecting your elders, how about respecting everyone? If respecting elders is commonplace, why not teach our children to respect all people equally by the wonder of repetition? Instead of mindlessly respecting a specific age group, why not teach children to respect everyone? That could fix a few problems I can think of. I think it's about high time we upgrade this tired old phrase, while constantly reminding ourselves that idiots get old too.